How to Manage Siblings Rivalry At Home

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Siblings Rivalry At Home

Sibling’s rivalry is like any other problem associated with parenting but it’s difficult to tell exactly if parents can win or they should simply find ways to manage sibling’s rivalry at home and minimize the casualties that may occur.


At home kids fight about a lot of things such as TV, who uses the computer and when, someone cheated during the game, who is sitting at the best part of the table, who last sweep the kitchen and so much more. Things that get siblings to fight are nothing out of the ordinary can be managed depending on the mood and temperament of the parties involved.


This parenting issue of sibling’s rivalry has been existed forever and will continue as long as parents continue having more than one kid. A house loses peace and harmony when it has more than one kid except when there are in a good mood. Sibling rivalry can be really annoying as the mother is placed on the spot of supporting one over the other, siblings rivalry is one disease that can’t be cured only managed.


Some Reason for Siblings Rivalry

Like I said earlier kids fight for a whole lot of insignificant reasons and some of them are really bad like jealousy while others don’t really mean much. I am going to use their language.

“He got that first!” – In a home there are a lot of toys to choose from but somehow the children just want to fight about one particular one. You will hear statements like “you always let him play and not me”, “I saw it first and he took it”, “he played all of yesterday today it’s my turn”, “I don’t want to watch that channel”


Envy – kids absolutely hate it when some other child comes up and steals the spotlight from them, they do everything to gain their place and if it doesn’t work they just pick on the other child and make him cry always. Sometimes this jealousy is unconsciously displayed, in that they themselves don’t really know they are jealous.


Unfairness, wrestling and cheating: in this war no one wants to lose and none of them will ever agree that they cheated or lied. It mostly occur when they play games together, one says “he moved dice more than what he should” and the other says “I didn’t” and the war begins.


Individual differences: all your children cannot and will never be the same in personalities and temperaments, some siblings can’t stay away from each other whilst others just don’t care. So don’t try to force one child to play with the other if he doesn’t want to, some are more relaxed and into themselves and so may not show interest in the welfare of the others. That does not mean they don’t care. Some are just very good at pushing their siblings to the limit.


Age differences: as a child grows his needs changes, babies are very selfish especially with things they believe belongs to their parents and them, it’s all about them and their parents and they don’t care about their older sibling.


Children of school age develop fairness and right and wrong ideas and so they can easily say to you “it’s not fair, you always give him the bigger piece” teenagers on the other hand are more independent and don’t want you nosing in on them and may not enjoy hanging out with the family, taking care of their siblings and doing chores.


So if your kids fight for the above reasons, it’s sure it will never stop till they get older and sometimes even as adults they still resent each other, which is where the problem is. As a mother you have to ensure that your children’s rivalry does not grow into hatred for one another or you.


What to Do About Siblings Rivalry

Sometimes when you are fed up of the cries and complain just….

Ignore them; you can do this when they start pushing and wrestling each other just send them outside to fight it out and who ever gets beaten cries and stop or you separate them and send them to different rooms if you are afraid they might hurt themselves.


Timing; if they fight about TV remote, computer etc set a time for each person that they all agree to.

You take it; if they struggle over something and no one wants to let go, you just take it and no one gets it, turn off the game or computer and let them go their merry ways.

Perfect example; kids learn from their parents, so if you and your spouse argue and fight a lot, try to reduce it because you kids will turn out the same way.


So that’s it, it won’t take away sibling rivalry but will mange it and as a mother never forget:

 Sibling’s rivalry is normal and can be managed

It’s okay to let them solve their own conflicts sometimes

Make rules for every conflict so when they start pushing they bear in mind what punishment await them.

Let them see you resolve issues in compromise and they’ll learn to do the same.


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